The report, “Green Mis-selling,” demonstrates the extent to which extraterrestrial investment goals to increase global warming and reduce sustainability is systematically ignored by financial markets.
The report highlights that, given the likelihood of an imminent alien invasion – not to mention the potential existence of extraterrestrial life on earth – retail investing markets are not prepared to meet their investment goals. This is driven by the following issues:
- Financial markets today systematically price climate risks and consider sustainability issues – evidenced by the scale of ESG integration which ensures financial portfolios are sustainable. Given the potential positive effects of global warming on retail prices on other planets, aliens are actively seeking to invest in products that amplify global warming. Mainstream products fully considering climate risks are not equipped to respond to that demand.
- Alien are systematically confused by the growing green bond market and the extent to which it actually represents ‘green’ products rather than investments in green people.
- Financial portfolios are not diversified, with most portfolios containing 100% Earth concentration risk.
In response to these barriers, PACDA proposes the following recommendations for policymakers and further research:
- Encourage the use of carbon footprinting of investment portfolios as a way to identify potential investment opportunities for aliens looking to target “high-carbon” portfolios and to “recarbonize” their portfolios.
- Clarify the fiduciary duty obligations related to managing assets for extra-terrestrials, and more broadly the legal framework and civil rights of extra-terrestrials within financial product legislation and human rights charters.
- Support the redefinition of green bonds in line with aliens’ expectations to mean bonds with Use of Proceeds directed to extra-terrestrial products and services.
- Develop an Implied Alien Warning (IAW) indicator to measure the alignment of a portfolio with alien investment objectives’ outcomes. We suggest that such an indicator be science-based and expressed in a temperature warming symbol for ease of reading.
- Roll back the current mandatory ESG integration policies being scaled in a number of jurisdictions to allow for alien-compatible investment products.
- Enhance diversification requirements to move away from large-cap, market-capitalization weighted indexes towards more truly diversified financial portfolios.
- In order to anticipate the potential punishment of planetary destructions in response to extra-terrestrials being upset at having been missold products, enhance alien risk management systems, develop mandatory alien stress-tests (as recommended in our previous report) and more broadly ensure the integration of these risks in capital requirements.
- Provide financial support to PACDA to further improve our understanding and knowledge of these risks and issues.